Today has been nice. Backpack project with some of the best people ever, musical with my stagecraft trio, and now some late night cleaning/star-gazing/relaxation. So so nice. Plus it’s clear outside tonight and I have mean girls and sleepy hollow. Graduation is next Friday, award ceremony/rotary congratulatory meal/stuco elections tomorrow. It’s crazy how fast things take a turn. I’m going to be doing something great, and I’m going to my dream college. I’m creating my future am holy shit am I excited.
Waiting for the musical to start up in my spot-box. Headset noises are my art.
Sigh it feels so nice outside
My M&G photos, I cropped myself out of Rian and I’s photo because it was not appealing at all. Period. They were sweet as fuck and I’m lucky to have been with them tonight. Really put a smile on my face. :)
I can’t get over the fact that ATL is in TULSA AND THEY’RE STARTING TOUR IN TULSA. THEY’RE HERE AND I SEE THEM IN TWO DAYS JGDKOSAIJRJGNDOIWA
Sold out show. M&G. First show of tour. They’re bringing out the y’alls.
Shameless Selfie Saturday?
by Britt Julious
Is there something wrong with my face?” I asked my mother as a 9-year-old girl. We were driving back from my elementary school and I couldn’t stop thinking about what a classmate said to me earlier that day. Often, when we think about the perpetuation of unfair beauty standards, we assume that they are directed only by the dominant racial and ethnic classes. This is the case historically and usually the case regarding the issue from its basest level. But internalized racism and beauty standards have a way of creeping up by surprise. On the playground earlier that day, that “classmate” was another black girl named Trina. She was shorter and prettier, with thick box braids popular in the mid-to-late 90s.
“What’s wrong with your face?” she asked me in disgust.
“What do you mean?” I replied.
“Why is your nose so big? Why are your lips so big?” she asked.
My mother assured me that there was nothing wrong with my face, my lips, or my nose. I looked like her, she said, and did I think there was something wrong with her face, her lips, or her nose? Well, of course not. My mother is still the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Growing up, this was not an issue for me, not really. But some things I internalized without realizing. I did not wear lipstick. I barely wore lip gloss. In my mind, it was because I could never find a nice enough color. Truthfully, it was because I was told – by the media, by friends, by family – that I don’t want to “stick out.” Too much color only emphasized rather than diminished the size of my lips. And there was something wrong with trying to highlight what was there (what was often even coveted) because someone some time ago decided that this was not good. Standing out was problematic. I needed to be seen, but not “heard.” I needed to be visible, but not “present.”
In a recent article with Net-A-Porter, top model Jourdan Dunn revealed an incident in which a white make-up artist refused to do her make-up because Jourdan was black and the artist was white. Reading briefly about the situation reminded me of the above story. The insidiousness of the beauty industry can be felt in all walks of life. What is considered normal, approachable, and “workable” is limited in scope and in practice. What does it mean when a model like Dunn can’t get her make-up done by a make-up artist. Well for one, that the artist is unprofessional. But also, that we live in a world in which Dunn’s caramel skin is considered “extra” and “other.” By refusing to do Dunn’s make-up, the artist perpetuated the idea that Dunn was not normal and that approaching make-up with her skin and face was a challenge. Dunn was not “routine.” And to not be routine is to be “wrong.”
“So what lipsticks did you bring?” Alysse asked. This was January 2012 and we sat in a friend’s well-lit apartment preparing for her first photoshoot for her jewelry line. Well I brought a lot of mascaras. I had more than 10 from a variety of different high-end brands. I had products and combs for my hair. This was all very DIY, very young. But lipstick? I owned one perfect red and one perfect pink and that was it.
“Where are your lipsticks?” she asked.
“I never wore many,” I confessed.
“But why?” she asked.
“That’s okay,” Alysse began. “I have a lot of stuff.” And she did. Lots of purples, pinks … even greens. All of it was foreign, but interesting to me. Alysse and I had been friends for years. She regularly rocked seemingly outrageous colors and made them work. But that was her and this was me. And yet, it was okay. Actually, it was a lot of fun.
ooohhh.. we have a system now do we? :) TAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSS
2: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
Depends on the type of relationship. Though, I’m a pretty jealous person at heart so I have a feeling if I was in a relationship, I’d only want me…. on them. with them.. you know what I mean.
4: What do you most like about making out?
Everything. I just love everything from the pressure to the spit and everything.
8: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
My sister I think.. she was telling me to get into my room because I had been throwing up and she thought I was going to puke on her.. ew.
16: Last time you slow danced with someone?
…….. I haven’t really slow-danced with anyone.. unless you count group friend circle dancing, then last year at prom.. or this year at morp. I don’t remember.
32: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
49: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.
AHEM. YOUR QUESTION IS: Have you ever been camping and if so, what is your preference, tent or a camper (that doesn’t even really count as camping)? If you haven’t been camping, would you go? WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO ROUGH IT IN THE WILDERNESS?!
I was about say what about 64?!?? but there is no 64… anywhoooo
02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you?
Actually my lower back has been hurting.. probably due to the fact that I’ve never popped my back in my life. It’s never popped before so I gave up but I regret it.
04: what are you listening to?
Middle Finger by Cobra Starship. It was on my dash and sounded appropriate.
08: sex on the first date?
Most likely not, but I don’t want to be like NEver becAUSE I’m CLASsy. Depends on the situation I suppose.
16: are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends?
One. just onneeee. At least I would like to think so.
32: what are you looking forward to in the next month?
ALL TIME LOW. and prom. BUT MOSTLY ATL
39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?
Someone THAT CAN HELP ME WITH MY CALCULUS. FUCK. but really. I don ‘t really know, someone who just wants to lay in bed and lazily cuddle and makeout.. and help with calculus in between. or Harry Styles. honestly.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU